Encouragement....to be a better parent maybe

Before I  go in to this, I will say that I absolutely love this commercial. But that doesn't mean there aren't some things that we can't address. (Translation: make fun of)

I'm assuming you've seen the ad. Some parents dragged their little boy to a piano recital, because everyone knows that's the place to take a hyperactive demographic. The commercial opens up to shitty parenting as we look for the answer to the question: "It's 7 o'clock, do you know where your child is?

Oh I'm sorry, I was too busy being self centered to keep an eye on him. You?

We're further exposed to their horrible parenting skills when the kid goes where he's not supposed to. I'm not saying I was a perfect kid, Lord knows I was incapable of shutting the hell up. (Big shock, I know.) But I would NOT have gone somewhere I was obviously not supposed to go. This kid apparently wanders like the big guy from Cadence. 

I wonder if there are any Legos in there . . .

Before the parents decide if they should get up and look for their lost little ankle-biter or pick out swatches to turn his room back in to a study, they hear the unmistakable staccato of a little boy making expensive piano keys all sticky, since kids are dirty.  That's right, the kid is pecking at the keys like our grandparents type, barely playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Or the alphabet tune...but since the kid couldn't read the sign saying stay the hell out, I'm guessing its the former versus the latter. So the parents think, Uh-oh, now we'll surely be embarrassed! It can't get any worse than this, can it?

Hey, I was gonna play some piano, but who wants to watch me punt a kid instead?

   

But instead of holding the kid up by the scruff of the neck and asking "Who's is this? He's going in the lost and found!" the piano player joins in with the kid and performs a rendition of Twinkle Twinkle that makes the kid a little star. (See what I did there? ) This is actually really cool, and hopefully the kid about which this commercial is based did venture off in to a career in music. After finding better parents, of course.

This commercial is just like anything else form Hollywood;  we rarely see the negative repercussions of noble or heroic acts. This commercial is no different, as it cuts out before we get to see one which parent lost the game of Rock Paper Scissors and had to go pick up their kid. 

onetwothree NOT IT!

We could take it to another step and show the kid later on, a musician himself. He cold point to his parents in the audience and say "My career in music, and my fame, are all thanks to my parents, and their inability to keep track of one kid!

Thanks, Son. 

So we'll just assume that everything ended well. The parents didn't later leave him home when going on vacation resulting in the little blond kid foiling robbers with ridiculous hi-jinks,  and he went on to a great career in music.

In closing...I just wanted to say SCREW YOU to these guys for making me cry every time this commercial comes on television:

It's not connected, I know. But it needed to be said. *Grabs a kleenex*

 

Zoosk: What the bloody hell!?

In this day and age of the Internet, we're more connected via social media and what not, but somehow fail to make meaningful connections. Thanks to that, we have an ever growing number of online dating services promising to hook you up through some sort of online chicanery...I mean match-making. And they're everywhere. I'm not kidding, since I've written this, I've seen ads for three different dating sites...and four pizza delivery companies. Apparently I fit in to a viewing demographic of hungry, lonely losers.

Forever alone pizza...never has a meme been more appropriate in food form.

Remember when we used to go to a bar or nightclub to meet  a mate? Me neither, I'm married to the girl I went out with in high school. But I'm told that's how it was done. Now we log on to sites like facebook to get poked, and there's just something wrong with that. Add in that impersonal approach to dating,  and we have examples of what's wrong with our society.

There's e-Harmony, which talks about some ridiculous number of traits that they put in to some sort of mathematical formula to find you the perfect match. Because that's what was missing in the institution of marriage, scientifically formulated equations. Nothing says I love you like a theorem. Pythagoras was HOT!

E-Harmony's guy looks like his graphing calculator was his first love.

But the worst offender is the latest example of our materialism and nature shallower than a kiddie pool in the Sahara: Zoosk. The first commercial I saw for Zoosk had a woman and her three friends drooling like Pavlovian dogs over some male models zoosk shows to be their dating fodder.

First off, what horrible labeling. Serious romance? Just because you have enough candles to warrant a visit from the fire marshal doesn't make it romantic. You're looking to get shtupped. (Is that the correct spelling? I don't know Yiddish, and I didn't want to say "fucked". Ooops...) That's fine, I don't agree with the whole men can screw anyone and it's fine and a woman who does it is a whore double standard. It takes two to tango. But call it like it is princess. 

Second, we constantly hear about the magazine images of women being too skinny making women do stupid ass shit to be that horrifically skinny First off, who likes these sticks? If men liked twigs, then why isn't that what you see in porn? Not that I've ever seen one....  But what about the reverse? Where's the outrage over men having to look like 'roided up meatheads to be worth dating? 

The latest ad though is even dumber, which I found rather surprising considering how lowly the bar was set.

I really hope one of the people standing outside that office after their less than subtle romp in the paper tray (huh huh...talk about a paper jam) is from HR to fire their freshly-tapped asses. But judging from the reactions, I'm guessing they work for Voyeur Incporporated. You've got a dorky looking guy saying "Aloha" in a "funny" way. Aloha? Really? I guess the commercial's stupidity is evidence enough of a lack of writing staff, but they couldn't come up with anything funnier than aloha? Here, I'll pitch three lines off the top of my head better than aloha.

1) That's one way of filling an opening.

2) Well that's one way of making copies.

3) The intern program has never been the same since we brought in Clinton.

So the girl who apparently had the office romance comes back from the cut scene and says she'll "Stick to Zoosk for dating." Right...sorry you kinky little minx, but I somehow doubt sticking to Zoosk will prevent your inner exhibitionist coming rearing it's ugly head. You'll just do it at places other than work. 

Aloha...now go get lei-ed.