A holiday tradition...of creepiness and bad parenting: Campbells Soup Winter Commercial

I am no doubt the first to tell you it's Christmas time and as such, we will be bombarded by a ceaseless parade of advertisements meant to play on our love of the season and spending unsustainable amounts of money to make sure the Christmas spirit of crippling debt is left alive.

What, too cynical?

Some commercials have been around for so long they play not just on our need to get the best gadget for Christmas, but also our sense of nostalgia. Enter Campbell's Soup.

I used to love that commercial, because seeing it I knew it was Christmas time. When I was a bit older, I love it because I knew it meant it was winter time, and when you live in the desert like I did, winter time means you can now touch your car door handle without needing skin grafts afterward.

But now, I realize this commercial displays not only a level of creepiness, but of some questionable parenting at best.

First off, let's look at the opening scene.

I recognize that this commercial was filmed some time ago...so long ago they probably actually used film. But it wasn't produced so long ago that letting your kid play outside unattended was necessarily considered great parenting. Especially in a fricking blizzard.

But I don't think the kid was playing in the snow...I think he was left outside to serve as his parents' outdoor decoration. He was just standing there, covered in snow, until he apparently received a union-mandated soup break.

Then things just get weird. Not that a walking snowman outside of the Frosty cartoon isn't weird. But take a look at this:

I'll concede that the poor kid standing out there for hours could end up covered in snow and resemble a snowman. But, how the hell did his arms turn to sticks? Apparently his parents aren't just shitty, there is some sort of fairytale evil stepmom and warlock thing going on.

But by the power of Campbells condensed soup, the spell is lifted (or the snow melts, if you take it at face value, you poor fool) and we see....AAAH! A GINGER!

Maybe the parents weren't evil, he was sentenced to snowman for his crimes of being a ginger. And looks what happens when he's released from his icy cell:

Yeah, you see a smiling kid. I see someone who just ate a bowl of Chicken Noodle and Soul Soup. That's right, the little sucker just took someone's soul and made it in to a rich, savory broth. Cambell's Soup is worse than Soylent Green...it's PEOPLE.....'s souls.

Or I'm just reaching. I DO love their soup...